Weddings in Rwanda

Food, dance, and a celebration with friends and family are all included in a Rwandan wedding. The components of a wedding in Rwanda and a wedding in America seem very similar but the actual events are carried out very differently. Rwandan weddings do have a set time given on an invitation but as with most things in Rwandan a time schedule is not followed and the amount of time Americans would spend on certain activity greatly varies from Rwandans sense of time. The religious ceremony of a wedding alone takes around 3or 4 hours and then is followed by slow transportation (often times by foot) to a reception and then a long and drawn out reception follows. I have attended several different weddings and was also in the wedding party for one wedding. In Rwanda a wedding consist of three different celebrations on three different days, the dowry ceremony, the civil wedding and the religious ceremony. The dowry ceremony consists of the family of the groom coming to the family of the bride and offering a cow to ask the bride for her hand in marriage. There is a man who dances and sings “pastoral poems” offering a cow as a sign of love. The cow is given to the bride’s family. There are often traditional Rwandan dancers that perform at the ceremonies. The families each present themselves and exchange words; when an agreement is made gifts are exchanged along with food and drinks. The civil marriage is held next; both the bride and the groom meet at the sector office with family and friends. The executive secretary of the sector office presides over the marriage and both the bride and the groom sign and use a thumbprint to seal the marriage, this is then followed by food and drink. The final celebration is a religious ceremony followed by a reception, this is the largest ceremony. The religious ceremony is held in a church and the reception is normally held in the home of someone from the wedding. Food and drinks are served including meat and bottled beverages which are expensive and used for special occasions. At the beginning Fanta or bottled beer (when the religion permits alcohol) is given this is then followed by sorghum, or banana beer set out in large gourds with straws passed around. Sometimes there is one huge gourd in the center with several straws that people go up and drink together. Drinking and dancing continues into the night and many guests spend the night at the bride or grooms house if they have travelled far.